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Category: Identity

  • Independence Day Thoughts on Freedom | Are you really free where it counts?

    Independence Day Thoughts on Freedom | Are you really free where it counts?

    Celebrate Independence Day with a thought-provoking reflection on true freedom, liberty, and mindset. Join us as we delve into the fundamental principles of personal freedom, beyond the external factors that shape our lives. In this insightful video, we explore the notion that genuine freedom starts with understanding our own minds, beliefs, and desires.

    Discover how many individuals are unknowingly bound by influences and biases, preventing them from living truly liberated lives. Gain valuable insights into the motivations and reasons behind your choices, enabling you to envision and build the life you truly desire. While we commemorate this important day in American history, it’s crucial to recognize that freedom goes beyond living in the freest country in the world.

    As you enjoy quality time with loved ones on this special occasion, take a moment to reflect on the origins of your thoughts and evaluate the extent of your personal freedom. Join us for an engaging discussion that challenges conventional notions and empowers you to unlock true freedom in your life. Remember, by understanding your mind, you hold the key to transforming your life.

    Celebrate Independence Day with a renewed perspective. Stay safe, have a fantastic day, and remember, if you can change your mind, you can change your life. Subscribe now for more empowering content and let’s embark on a journey towards genuine freedom together.

  • One Thing Holding You Back

    One Thing Holding You Back

    My first job out of college was working at a magic shop in Universal Studios in Orlando Florida. I sold magic tricks to people from all over the world and I saw something that gave me a peek into the number one thing holding people back from success.

    This might be the most valuable secret I’ve ever learned from that world.

    If you want to start a Life Mastery Business, then this is step one.

  • 4 Steps I Took To Shave 20 Years Off My Learning Curve

    4 Steps I Took To Shave 20 Years Off My Learning Curve

    The standard social narrative traps you in an escalator to an early grave. When you have the world’s most amazing technology at your fingertips, how would you go about building a life of control, freedom, and meaning?

    These are the hard-won lessons I’ve learned from my own career, and I’m sharing for anyone & everyone who has dreams of creating their own life of adventure.

  • Power Of Small Ideas

    Power Of Small Ideas

    This is a post I just saw from the Chicago Magic Lounge which is a venue I’ve performed at many times. In fact, most of my promotional material is directly from this space. Check it out:

    I love seeing posts like this one.

    Compare this before / after post to this video that I shot nearly 5 years before that Instagram post.

  • The Problem With Gratitude

    The Problem With Gratitude

    “[A man’s] emotions are not his enemies, they are his means of enjoying life. But they are not his guide; the guide is his mind. This relationship cannot be reversed, however. If a man takes his emotions as the cause and his mind as their passive effect, if he is guided by his emotions and uses his mind only to rationalize or justify them somehow—then he is acting immorally, he is condemning himself to misery, failure, defeat, and he will achieve nothing but destruction—his own and that of others.” ~Ayn Rand, Playboy, March 1964

    Social media is awash with millions of people shouting the virtues of gratitude at the top of their lungs. Selfies with pseudo-philosophical quotes in a handwritten font abound. Proponents of gratitude say the benefits are a magic bullet that kills depression & unhappiness.

    Take this quote from a website Happify: “The benefits of practicing gratitude are nearly endless. People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.”

    Sounds pretty good, right?

    So what’s so bad about gratitude?

    IT’S EMOTIONAL MASTURBATION.

    Gratitude is an emotion. It’s a feeling. It tells you absolutely nothing about why you’re feeling that way.

    In fact, gratitude can keep you in dangerous situations.

    “I KNOW HE BEATS ME, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD. I’M GRATEFUL FOR THAT MUCH.”

    Inciting an emotional response in an effort to trick yourself into believing things are better than they are is a cancer of your mind. This is what condemns you to living a life of misery and torture.

    Gratitude makes you a sycophant.

    Synonyms: yes-man, bootlicker, brown-noser, toady, lickspittle, flatterer, flunky, lackey, spaniel, doormat, stooge, cringer, suck, suck-up
    “I thought you wanted a competent assistant, not a nodding sycophant”

    Does that sound like the person you want to be?

    HELL NO.

    Now, am I saying you should never feel happiness? That there’s nothing to enjoy?

    Absolutely not.

    So, what’s the alternative to gratitude, if gratitude is so poisonous?

    APPRECIATION.

    It’s a small change in language, but a huge shift in mindset.

    Appreciation is the intellectual practice of appraising value. Of identifying worth. Of recognizing & understanding something or someone.

    Appreciation is the application of reason to expose a lesson that can teach you something.

    This is why appreciation has the secondary definition of “to increase in value.”

    That happens as the natural byproduct of something or someone having worth.

    ORIGIN

    “ad” in late Latin means “to,” and “pretium” means “price.”

    Put them together and you get “appretiare” meaning to set at a price, to appraise.

    Appreciation is the logical evaluation of every situation, idea, moment, person, action, consequence, etc for its value & worth.

    This is the process of recognizing everything for what is & is not worth your time & investment.

    APPRECIATE EVERYTHING THAT IS GIVEN TO YOU. APPRECIATE EVERYTHING THAT IS TAKEN FROM YOU. APPRECIATE EVERYTHING.

    THE DIFFERENCE

    Gratitude is the dominance of emotion over reason which is a recipe for disaster. Appreciation is the application of reason to evaluate worth.

    Fill your heart with gratitude and die.

    Fill your mind with appreciation and live.

  • You Charge How Much?!

    You Charge How Much?!

    Back when I was getting my speaking business off the ground, I also made ends meet as a graphic designer. One day I was on the phone with a client, and I made a costly mistake.

    Client: Could we try a different font on the site?
    Me: Sure! *couple clicks* Refresh the page.
    Client: Whoa, that’s amazing! *Does mental math. I’m paying him HOW MUCH, and he’s doing all this with a couple clicks?! That’s crazy! He’s robbing me! I need to make a million changes so I feel like I’m getting my money’s worth.

    And the project dragged on for months.

    Now, I accept 100% responsibility for my part in that dance! I did a poor job of managing expectations, setting up guidelines early on about acceptable number of revisions, etc. But, I do want to address the idea that “You can do this quickly, therefore you should charge me less for it.”
    It’s a common mindset with people; especially people who trade their time for dollars. What they don’t realize yet, is it’s the very fact that it happens quickly that makes it so valuable!

    You wouldn’t get on a plane and say,

    “Because you’re getting me to New York in a couple hours, I should pay less than if I took this trip in a Greyhound!“

    That’s absurd! The world is simple: you either spend time, or money. You can’t save both.
    Nowadays I help my clients understand whether it’s for a performance, a consulting session, or training engagement, I charge a premium because of the fact that I can help them get the results they want FAST.
    I might be on stage for only an hour, but I can connect with that audience in a way that nobody else can. People who see me speak literally can’t forget what they’ve seen me do, and that’s valuable to a company! I weave their message into my demonstrations and now the audience is fundamentally connected on an emotional level that nobody else in the world can help them feel, like I can.

    Picasso’s Lesson

    “It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.”

    Think about a doctor performing surgery. He’s not getting paid thousands of dollars for the hour he’s in the operating room. He’s getting paid for the decade he spent learning how to get you healthy in an hour. That’s what Picasso was talking about. He could make a couple pen strokes and it’s worth $50,000 because he’s the person who dedicated his life to being PICASSO.

    Wages vs. Value

    What we’re really talking about is the difference between getting paid for doing something versus receiving fair compensation for the results you can provide for your client.
    In your business, you absolutely have to focus on how valuable the results you help your clients get, and help them get there quickly that will help you charge what you’re worth. If, instead, you focus on what you’re doing (the actions you’re going to take), then you’re talking about trading time for dollars, and people want to get as many hours out of you as they can for your wages.

  • Rapport

    Rapport

    Same Wavelength

    When you’re negotiating that big business deal, there’s an essential element you absolutely must have: trust.
    Each side in the negotiation has to believe, to the core, that the other person/team will follow through on what they say they’re going to do. Sure, you might have a contract, but in reality it’s just ink on a page; what’s really important is the relationship between the two sides doing business together.
    Sometimes you immediately trust someone, and you may not know why. You’ll feel like you’re “on the same page,” “of the same mind,” or “on the same wavelength.” These are all ways of saying you both have rapport.

    Reflected Empathy

    Rapport is the feeling that you both “get it.” You both understand each other fully.
    Rapport is essentially “reflected empathy.” You’ve put yourself in the other person’s headspace, see the world through their eyes, and communicate that understanding through your verbal & non-verbal communication.

    Missing the Mark

    Most “body language experts” (scare quotes used on purpose) will tell you if you want to establish rapport with someone, that you should mirror their body language. If they cross their arms, you should cross your arms. If they lean against the wall, you should lean against the wall.

    You can usually tell who blindly follows this advice because they’re so obvious about it.

    Their attempt to come across as trustworthy winds up backfiring. It goes wrong because they lack empathy. This results in a robotic mimicking of the other person’s actions, and it weirds us out just like a human-like android does.

    (To understand exactly why this is so unsettling to us, look into the uncanny valley.)

    Shortcut to Empathy

    If the shortcut to rapport is empathy, then the shortcut to empathy is listening.
    So few people are excellent listeners that if you can even pay the smallest amount of attention to someone, they’ll feel like the most important person in the world.

    Magic Formula

    Genuinely listen, consider what the other person says, cultivate an empathetic understanding of their position, reflect that viewpoint, and they’ll feel like you understand them.

    Instant rapport!

    This will come across in your tone of voice, the words you use (similar to theirs), your posture, amount of personal space, and so on.
    And remember, in order to get something, you first have to give something.

    The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. ~Ernest Hemingway 

    How About You?

    Have you ever experienced instant rapport with someone? Felt like you’d been friends forever? I’d love for you to tell me about it. What was it like? How do you think you build rapport with people? Let me know on Facebook.

  • Success Will Destroy You

    Success Will Destroy You

    When I first started performing, I didn’t trust the audience. I would finish a routine where I predicted the future, moved objects with my mind, or influenced someone’s choices, and people would clap like crazy. It’s amazing stuff, and it’s no wonder people would applaud!
    But I didn’t believe it.
    I thought they were bored, disappointed, or just clapping because that’s what’s expected of them.

    Maybe they were, who knows?

    Point is, I’m not psychic so I have no real idea what they were thinking.
    What was really going on was I was dealing with my own impostor syndrome, and feeling like I wasn’t worth the positive attention I was getting.
    Eventually I figured out that nobody has to clap if they don’t want to. They seemed to be doing it on their own volition because they genuinely wanted to show their appreciation.

    I’d made it past the hurdle of self doubt without tripping.

    Since I passed that test, life tries to destroy me using a different approach: success.
    After shows people love to come up and shake my hand. They want me to sign autographs. They tell me how much they love my show (& by extension me).
    Basically every single person I talk to afterwards has nice things to say.
    It’s an illusion.
    What I’m experiencing is the result of a self-selecting process. Turns out, the only people who are willing to stand in line to talk to me are the people who liked what I did. If someone isn’t a fan, they won’t waste their time; they’ll just walk out. This creates a situation after shows where I’m only encountering people who like what I do.
    This can destroy me.
    It gives me a false sense that there’s no need to improve. There’s no need to continue working on my craft. There’s no need to put in more effort.
    That’s a lie.
    Success requires constant struggle. Constant improvement. Constant reevaluation of choices.

    Moral of the Story

    Don’t believe your own hype. Thank people for the kindness they show you, but don’t make your choices based on the opinions of others.
    Stay grounded, and don’t lose your drive.

  • Self Defense

    Self Defense

    When most people think about self defense, they usually think about screaming “NO!” as loudly as they can, stomping the instep, kneeing the groin, and running towards a well lit area with lots of people.
    So what does self defense have to do with a mind reading blog giving business advice?
    A lot, actually.
    Self defense is a lot more than a weekend course on how to scratch someone’s eyes out. It’s a whole approach to keeping yourself safe from:

    • strangers
    • family
    • friends
    • yourself

    That last one throws a lot of people for a loop. They forget that you can often be your own worst enemy.
    Case in point: how do you talk to yourself? If someone said the exact same things you say about yourself, would you let them stay in your life for very long? Probably not, right?
    How much negative news coverage to you consume on a daily basis? How does that make you feel?
    Sure, you justify it by telling yourself, “I have to stay up on what’s going on in the world” but what has it done to your mental well-being to allow that much negativity into your mind? How could it not affect you?
    How much gossiping do you allow? Do you let other people share gossip with you? Do you talk about people who aren’t in the room? What kind of trustworthy relationships you can build when people know you’ll talk about people behind their back?
    What do you do every day to make sure you spend time focusing on the good in the world? Do you read? Do you meditate? Do you call your friends to ask how they’re doing without turning it into your personal therapy & complaining session?
    How do you spend your mornings? Do you listen to audiobooks so you can be exposed to interesting concepts? Or do you listen to shockjock radio full of commercials trying to sell you on a hollow dream of happiness available for 4 easy payments of 19.99?
    What you allow in your mind is a choice. You have control over your thoughts.
    You can install your own mental ad blocker, of sorts.
    Maybe I should say you [can] have control over your thoughts. Because if you can’t manage the quality of your internal state, how do you expect to manage your external state which has infinitely more moving parts?
    Self defense starts with you.
    Need some help with that? Give me a call. Let’s chat.

  • Trapped In The Mirror Dimension

    Trapped In The Mirror Dimension

    Your thoughts aren’t real.

    You might feel that statement is so painfully obvious that it doesn’t need saying. Before you click away, let me explain why the problems you’re having right now are a direct result of you believing they are.
    Trust me, I’m a mind reader. I know what I’m talking about.
    Have you ever been mad at yourself for being mad? Are you depressed that you’re depressed all the time? Are you anxious about being anxious? What the hell is going on?
    This kind of meta-worry is a byproduct of our incredible ability to think. Thinking is an abstract process in a dimension that’s not real.
    It’s like looking at a mirror.
    You can see it. It’s right there. Every detail is reflected perfectly for you to see. But, when you reach out to touch it, and all you feel is the smooth glass surface.
    Same goes with your thoughts. You can see them. You know they’re there. But you can never touch them.
    When we reflect on our problems, we’re holding a mirror up to a mirror. The result is an infinite tunnel of reflections. Each image is another abstracted reflection of a reflection of a reflection and so on down the rabbit hole forever.
    This is exactly what’s happening in your mind when you worry about worrying. Or get sad about being sad.

    How Do You Escape?

    When you’re trapped in a mirror dimension, everything is backwards.
    When you’re trapped in your mind, the solution is almost always the opposite of what you think you should do.
    This why your pursuit of happiness is making you miserable. This is why chasing wealth is making your poor. This is why your need for acceptance is making you lonely. This is why your pursuit of achieving enlightenment is just making you miserable.
    Seems like the faster you run towards happiness, the faster you become miserable.
    You’re trapped in a way of thinking that is completely backwards. You’re inside the mirror.
    The only way out is to see your thoughts for what they are: abstract non-entities. They’re conjured apparitions without weight or form.

    Your thoughts aren’t real.

    You believe they’re real, so you take action in the physical world that leads to the complete opposite effect than you intended.

    Your continued refusal to accept this fact is the direct result of you believing your thoughts are more real than the world you live in.

    The harder you fight reality, the more pain you experience from your delusions. That’s why the sages throughout history have said that your reality is simply a mirror of your inner state. You eventually realize you’re the one hitting yourself. You don’t see the world as it is, you see the world as you are.