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Tag: life

  • Be The One To Step Up

    I helped stopped a kidnapping last night.

    And I don’t mean that as a joke. It’s a statement of fact.

    There’s a dark side of psychology, and one of the darkest is the bystander effect.

    That’s what lead a whole apartment complex to hear the murder of Kitty Genovese in 1964 without a single person coming to her aid.

    That’s why, when I notice a disturbance, I tend to move towards it.

    Chances are good that if I don’t act, then nobody else will.

    That’s what happened last night.

    The wife & I are winding down for the night when something barely catches my attention from outside.

    I’ve learned not to ignore that.

    I walk outside.

    A teenager is picking up clothes from the middle of the street.

    “What’s going on?” I ask him.

    “Someone’s trying to –” a car careens around the corner towards us. We both move fast to get out of the way.

    The back door’s open on the car.

    People piled into the back seat.

    Everyone’s screaming.

    The car brakes hard.

    People tumble out onto the pavement.

    I stand in front of the car wondering if the driver’s going to punch the gas.

    Most of the struggle moves away from the car. A child is screaming “I don’t want to go!” at the top of his lungs. Crying.

    I decide not to get directly involved. Seen that go south way too fast way too many times.

    Instead I’m present as a witness and add a sense of accountability. It’s harder to make bad choices when strangers are watching.

    I stand 30 feet away, but still in the path of the car preventing it from leaving. Hopefully.

    A neighbor comes out in his boxers. He asks me what’s going on.

    “I think it’s a kidnapping. Not sure who’s taking who.” I tell him.

    “I’ll be right back” he says.

    Few moments later he’s wearing proper shorts.

    “Let’s go.”

    We get close. Help settle the argument.

    Another neighbor shows up a few minutes later. He worked with German Sheppards in Afganistan. He’s a calming presence.

    Eventually the cops show up.

    The story comes out.

    Biological mother & enabling friend drove down from Michigan unannounced. She has no custody. She dropped her son off with the paternal grandparents last year with nothing to his name.

    He’s just now getting adjusted to school, a regular home life, and he was terrified of getting in that car.

    I stick around until everyone leaves.

    Shake hands with the other neighbors who showed up to help.

    It’s the most excitement the neighborhood has seen since it was built.

    And it could have gone worse if everyone “minded their own business.”

    Fortunately sometimes all you need is to be willing to show up to keep things on the best path they could be on.

    And that’s just it. Life isn’t only about making sales and doing business.

    It’s about relationships and showing up for people who need a witness.

    Don’t be afraid to be the one who steps up.

    That’s it for now.

  • Alchemy Of Time And Money

    Alchemy Of Time And Money

    Too often this falls to the realm of pseudoscience claptrap & purveyors of flim-flam. There is, however, a rational approach to making change in your life by a process I like to call a reasonable unreasonableness.

    This is Life Alchemy.

    But, first, I want to introduce you to this guy. He’s one of the most influential people in all of human history.

    We’ve gotten to the moon because of what he dreamt up. We’re currently looking into how the universe will die based on his thinking.

    He also proudly died a virgin.

    His name? Sir Isaac Newton.

    Father of:

    Laws of Gravity, Law of Thermodynamics, Law of Motion, Understanding Light, Fluid Dynamics, Calculus,

    His work is the bedrock of some of our most valuable achievements as human beings.

    He was also obsessed with Biblical Chronology.

    There’s another area he devoted a significant amount of his time exploring: Alchemy.

    In today’s context, Alchemy is relegated to sorcery, magic, and other fairytale adventures that have no merit. Unfortunately, this is at the detriment of maximizing potential.

    Why did Newton write million+ words about Alchemy? What could have possibly driven one of the greatest scientific minds to folly?

    Surely it was the counterbalance of ignorance and wrong-headedness to someone who achieved so much? Capacity for greatness goes both ways, right?

    Not really.

    Alchemy, as it was back then, was concerned with understanding the nature of reality. The fundamental philosophy was essentially “If you understand exactly how nature works, you’ll be able to shape it to your will.”

    It’s actually pretty spot on.

    Alchemist believed that all matter, and especially metals, were all manifestations of the same spirit or essence.

    Gold was considered to be the highest manifestation of this spiritual achievement whereas something like lead was a ‘base’ metal; as in at the base of the hierarchy.

    Base: Lacking higher qualities of mind, spirit, or value. Degrading. Inferior.

    Debase:To reduce something in value or quality; degrade.

    Abase:Behave in a way so as to belittle or degrade (someone)

    Alchemists sought to understand how to take base materials and create value.

    They believed they would be able to discern the process that was responsible for lead becoming more and more refined until achieving its highest potential; gold.

    The method, process, or force responsible for this happening was referred to as ‘The Philosopher’s Stone.”

    They weren’t searching for an actual, physical stone. They weren’t some kind of sorcerer version of Indiana Jones on a mission to find the Holy Grail.

    The stone was short-hand for ‘the singular process responsible for taking something worthless, and making it valuable.’

    When you understand the historical context, and the time they were operating in, it makes perfect sense that Alchemy was a sensible endeavor. It’s proto-science, in a manner of speaking.

    But to disregard its message today is to dismiss a powerful rational lesson.

    There is an Alchemy that’s alive and well today. To understand its inner workings is to create a life that appears impossible to anyone who doesn’t understand its principles.

    Everyone is a slave to its effects, but few master its causes.

    There’s a base metal, a philosopher’s stone, and a gold if we want to use this as a metaphor.

    The base metal? Time.

    Everyone has exactly the same amount. In fact it’s so plentiful that most people waste it. There’s so much time that they can afford to spend it on Netflix.

    Time is your Lead.

    Useless by itself. Not good for much. Almost anything is better than just having time on your hands. What good is time by itself?

    But! There’s that equation you’re ignoring!

    Time = Money! “Got you!” you cry.

    Not so fast.

    If Time = Money, then we’d all be rich. We’d all drive Ferraris, and spend our vacations on one of our several yachts.

    So why is time so valuable to some, and not at all to others?

    Answer: The Philosopher’s Stone

    There’s one thing that can change worthless, abundant time into something valuable. What is it?

    Your mind.

    That’s it. That’s the philosopher’s stone. Your mind is the miraculous thing that is responsible for all value in the world. All meaning. All worth.

    This is why all the internet gurus (real & fake) explain that it’s mindset that’s so important. This is why.

    Time is the abundant resource, and the quality of your thinking, imagination, and creativity is the Philosopher’s Stone that will transmute that time into value.

    Time = Money is an equation that only holds up if you know how to trade your time for dollars.

    Your job is the best strategy that your mind has figured out how to convert time into dollars. Your pay the measure of how effective that strategy is.

    Why do some people get paid more than you? Why do some people get paid less?

    Your Philosopher’s Stone.

    That’s it.

    Now, you might argue and say, “People get paid millions for being an idiot! That’s proof you’re wrong.”

    No. That’s proof you lack imagination.

    Time is your most fundamental resource.

    All other value is a function of Time multiplied by your Imagination & Creativity.

    Money, relationships, opportunities, etc. EVERYTHING exists solely because of how you spend your time. How you invest it.

    How you transform it.

    Every action your take is your Philosopher’s Stone in action. Action is the crucible that transforms time into whatever value that action has in the universe. To others.

    To you.

    You can never get that time back. But, you can make better choices now to get more time later.

    This is why wealthy people spend money to gain time.

    They’ve figured out how to transmute their time into massive value.

    This is why spending time to save a couple dollars is insane to people who have discovered the secrets of personal Alchemy.

    Why would you spend days on something when a couple dollars could solve it?

    All value is a derivative of time.To put it simply. Personal Alchemy is the process of cultivating your mind to appreciate the incredible value Time already is. It’s ALREADY the most precious resource. It’s just that you haven’t developed the ability to value it.

    So, what’s changing isn’t the value of time. It’s you. You’re changing your relationship & understanding of the nature of time.

    Your Philosopher’s Stone is transmuting YOU into a more valuable steward of the universe’s most precious resource.

    This is the most sane, logical, natural thing in all of existence.

    To deny it, argue with it, or ignore it is to make yourself a slave to the whims of others.

    Be more than that. Transform yourself.

    But act quickly. Time is money afterall.

  • Embrace Uncertainty

    Embrace Uncertainty

    In Schrödinger’s famous torture chamber, thought experiment he puts a cat in a box whose life hangs in the balance of a single radioactive isotope which might, or might not kill the cat. The idea being that the cat is both alive & dead until the situation is observed from the outside, thereby resolving the two possibilities into a single certainty.

    Life

    Uncertainty is uncomfortable. Answers feel so much better than questions.
    (Want proof? Watch any child and see how excited they get when they recognize a character they like on TV.)
    We all need certainty in our lives. For example, we need to know that the ground we’re walking on won’t collapse under us.
    But there needs to be balance.
    If you’re solely focused on certainty, you’ll tend to stay too far in your safe zone.

    “Better the devil you know than the one you don’t.” ~Folk wisdom using scare tactics to advocate for the status quo

    If you have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt what’s going to happen when you do it, then you’re probably not going to get outside your current frame of reference. Guess where all your growth happens, though; stepping outside your comfort zone!
    In my own life, I’ve missed out on more opportunities than not because I was more interested in what something is than what it could be.
    Of all my superhuman talents, I’d have to say building an extremely high tolerance for uncertainty is one of my most valuable.
    Here’s why.

    Context

    Every time I’ve worked on a TV project, there’s a ton of uncertainty.

    What do the producers want to see? How many people will be in the audience? Will I be able to set my own props? Am I supposed to look at the camera during filming? Will I get paid? When will I get paid? When will it air? Will it air at all?

    It can be exhausting never getting a firm answer to any of these questions.
    But I know the answer I don’t want.

    “Thanks for your time, but we’re going in another direction.”

    That answer is certain. It’s definitive.
    There’s no going back.
    The more comfortable you are with the extremely uncomfortable dynamic of not knowing the answers, the farther into the process you’ll get. You’ll learn a lot more from the experience of enduring the situation than you will trying to nail down exactly what it all means.

    Takeaway

    Embrace uncertainty.
    Let a couple unanswered questions into your life, and you’ll instantly increase the number of opportunities you have available to you.

  • Helping Others

    If your work isn’t helping at least one other person, why is it worth doing at all?

  • Work Life Balance

    Work/Life Balance is a Scam.

    Seems like most people hate their job. Seems like most people hate their life.
    And it seems like they’re trying to find happiness by finding a balance point between the two. In this way of thinking, however, this hypothetical person is constantly stuck between two weights that are pulling them in opposite directions. The more time they spend on one side, the higher up the other side goes (and looks more unattainable). This means they have to rush back over to the other side which only serves to make the up & down cycle go faster and faster with higher highs & lower lows.
    That’s why it feels like you can have a happy family, a good job, but not both. There is no balance. It’s an either/or question with this mindset.
    That’s why I say Work/Life Balance is a scam. It’s an idea that is overly simplistic, and keeps you running from one obligation to another without being able to really settle into what really makes you happy. You’re forever torn between two opposites.
    There’s a way out.
    Allow me to introduce Buckminster Fuller, striking a classic Mind Reader pose.
    buckminster-fuller-portraitHe was a genius who was way ahead of his time. One of his most recognizable contributions to society is the “golf ball” at Epcot.
    tensegrityWhile it might seem a big claim that a Disney attraction is a major contribution to humanity, it’s actually a lot bigger than that. The hidden genius of the golf ball is the secret of geodesic domes. How in the world do such light structures cover such great distances without collapsing?
    Fuller gave this question quite a bit of thought and came up with a novel word for the answer:

    Tensegrity: the characteristic property of a stable three-dimensional structure consisting of members under tension that are contiguous and members under compression that are not.

    Tension + Integrity
    Think about your body. There’s the fundamental skeletal structure. If we were only bones that were rigidly connected, we wouldn’t be able to move. If we were only muscles, we’d be a big blob of quivering jello on the floor.
    Only through the connection of the rigid bone with the flexible & strong muscles can we run, jump, do cartwheels, etc. These are astonishingly complex movements performed by a body that is held together through the interplay of dynamic tension.
    This is a roundabout way of saying you cannot have integrity without tension.
    Think of any partner dance. Each partner relies on the counterbalance of the other to maintain the ability to continue the experience.
    The dance is a dynamic expression of tensegrity through the interplay of two smaller systems made possible through tensegrity. Mind. Blown.

    But what does this have to do with work & life?

    Well, everything.
    Our lives are not a static either/or see-saw with life on one side and work on the other. Our lives are more like a dance of obligations, desires, hopes, and dreams, and the only way it continues is through the tension and connection between the two. They are not opposites. They are not separate. They are intimately connected and only through that connection can you enjoy either.
    So stop trying to run from one, or the other. You can’t ignore your home life and spend all your time at the office. Nor can you stay home all day and never create anything.
    Balance is an illusion. Balance is the imaginary point between two opposing forces.
    Integrity, happiness, and all of life is an intricate network of tension, flexibility, hard, soft, and all opposites you can imagine.
    It’s a dance of dances as far down as you want to go.
    So stop worrying about balancing your life, and embrace the dynamic tension between the two. Only then can you run, jump, and play in the sunlight.