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  • 4 Quadrants Of Mind Control Updated

    4 Quadrants Of Mind Control Updated

    This is a video update from a popular post I wrote awhile back.

    Transcript

    4 Quadrants of Mind Control

    I want to clear up a lot of misconceptions around persuasion and influence in people that feel like it’s icky. I think it comes from a lot of assumptions that aren’t true or misunderstanding of the landscape of influencing people, and I would like to help you understand why. persuasion and influence absolutely should be in your toolkit if you are working on anything that makes the world a better place.

    When it comes to this whole thing, I like to think of it in two different dimensions. Kinda like if we were, uh, drawing out a graph on this side, on the horizontal plane on this side would be. If you are trying to benefit yourself at the expense of somebody else, at their detriment, you’re, you’re gonna make them worse off.

    While you are better off. That’s on this side. If you are going to help everybody involved, you and the other person maybe. You and your family, you and your employees, and your company and your clients and all of their families and all of their clients. And in that way, everybody and everybody that they are connected with is better off.

    That’s the awesome side. This is the not so good. This is the, uh, very good, which is the win win on multiple levels, kind of fractal idea. The vertical side is what are you trying to change? Uh, if this was who is going to benefit just you at the expense of everybody else and everybody involved. Who benefits this is, uh, what are you trying to change?

    And I know that these actually go together, but it’s easier to think of them as separate. Um, so if you are trying to change their beliefs, that’s up here, and if you’re trying to change their behavior, That’s down here. And if you behave in a certain way, you’ll learn to believe the certain way.

    So I know it’s really a continuum, but for the purposes of this video, we’ll just make them, uh, be on separate sides of that spectrum.

    So,

    If you are trying to benefit yourself at the expense of somebody else and you are changing their behavior, then that is called coercion. I don’t care how you feel. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care about your opinion. I just need you to do something that benefits me, which is, uh, what robbing somebody is.

    I don’t care how you feel about this. I just want you to give me your wallet. That’s the behavior that benefits me is you giving me your money. So that’s what coercion is. Now if I’m trying to change your beliefs to benefit me at your expense, that’s called manipulation. And the most common way of manipulating somebody is to manage the narrative, withhold facts and information that they would need to make a fully informed decision about.

    Whatever it is that we are currently talking about, and if I withhold information, if I manage that narrative, if I don’t give you all the facts and information that you need, then you’re going to come to a different conclusion then you would have otherwise. So your beliefs will be out of alignment with reality, and you will believe that helping me is the right thing to do when it’s actually at your expense.

    So that’s why. Changing somebody’s beliefs to my benefit at your expense is called manipulation, which is what most people think of when they think of sales or business. That I have to withhold things, otherwise you wouldn’t buy from me. And that’s to me the worst kind of business. And I also want you. To be able to recognize when it’s happening so that you aren’t taken in by somebody who is managing the narrative to their benefit and your expense.

    That’s why I love talking about persuasion. And influence. So to me, changing somebody’s behavior to everybody’s benefit is what influence is. The example I’d like to use is going to a restaurant. I don’t need you to believe that this is the best restaurant. On planet Earth, I know that they’ve got something that you like.

    I know that they’ve got something that I like and I know that it’s a good environment for the reason that we are getting together. Are we celebrating, uh, an anniversary? Is this a business thing or did we lose somebody and we need somewhere quiet that we can kind of get together and, and, uh, connect that way?

    So, I don’t need you to believe it. I just need you to agree to go to this restaurant so that we can have the right kind of experience. So that’s what influence is, is changing behavior to everybody’s benefit. Persuasion is changing your belief and persuasion is the thing that is the most powerful because your beliefs inform your decisions, your behavior, and the actions that you take.

    So if you can change somebody’s beliefs, you’re going to change their behavior moving forward from that point on. So that’s why persuasion is the most powerful and. It takes a lot of time to do it right, and to me, the biggest difference is between the intention of are you trying to help everybody involved or are you out for just yourself at the expense of everybody else, which is a win losee?

    Or are you in a win-win across time and space and multiple relationships? So that’s why I think of it as. Kind of a quadrant of mind control of am I trying to change your beliefs or your behavior to benefit me or me and you and everybody else? That’s kind of the landscape of influence, persuasion, manipulation, and coercion.

    So hopefully that helps you understand what somebody means when they’re saying persuasion is icky because it means manipulating people. That’s why there are different words, but most people think of them all as the same thing. But now you understand that topology and you can make your way through it as you see fit.

    So if you like stuff like this, you would love to be on my email list where I talk about persuasion in sales negotiation, business relationships everywhere all the time. I send those out every weekday. You can go to

    good persuasion.com.

    If you like more videos like this, I would highly suggest that you check out this one or subscribe to the channel.

    So that you don’t miss anything else as I put it out. Thank you so much for watching, and as always, I like to say if you can change your mind, you can change your life.

  • Objection, your honor.

    Ugh. I can hear it. Another “but I’m a special snowflake and here’s why I’m not a writer” excuse thinly veiled as a legit reason.

    Here it is: “Jonathan, I talk. I don’t write.”

    Yeah? And?

    I’m a talker too.

    I get paid to talk.

    and you know what I do?

    Write it all down before I say it so I can figure out the best way to say it in the safety of my own imagination before I have to say it for real.

    I learned how to do this in high school.

    I was a competitive debater. I was in the National Forensics League.

    And I don’t like to brag, because it makes me a HUGE nerd, but I maxed out the points I could get for Lincoln-Douglas debate. *

    pushes up the glasses (that I don’t wear) to emphasize the point*

    Most of my Saturdays were spent arguing with other nerds about stuff like whether or not we should have the death penalty.

    Light topics like that.

    What did I do before going into the first round for each new topic?

    Organize my thoughts. Also called “writing shit down so I can get a handle on it.”

    That’s why I say everything is a writing problem.

    Figure out how to write better, and everything gets better.

    And it’s especially useful if you’re “not a writer.”

    You can write 100 versions of your idea before committing it to video when you record your next YouTube video.

    Don’tforgettolikeandsubscribeandsmashthatnotificationbellsoyoudon’tmissoutonnewvideoseveryTuesday.

    1. Write it a bunch.
    2. Say it once.
    3. Profit

    There you go.

    Another excuse bites the dust.

    Get to writing why dontcha?

    Best thoughts,
    ~Jonathan

  • What happens when you write?

    All the good stuff you’ve been looking for, that’s what.

    Not to put too fine a point on it, of course.

    There’s just so much you can write about.

    • Your inspiration
    • Your process
    • Competitors
    • Case studies
    • Processes
    • Projects you like
    • How you think about current events
    • Evaluating claims
    • Answering client questions
    • Entertainment

    Ev-er-y-thing.

    And each piece you write (and also share) is another invitation for the right people to get to know you.

    (Don’t worry about the wrong people getting to know you. They won’t care enough to actually read much of what you write, so it’s a self-correcting non-problem. Neato!)

    The more you share, the more they know, the more they understand, the more they fall in love with your mind.

    And that’s what we’re all here for, MIND READING.

    Share your thoughts. Share them often & broadly & loudly.

    OK?!

    Good.

    Best thoughts,
    ~Jonathan

  • Everything is a (fill in the blank) problem.

    Starting with an aside; bear with me.

    Before we dig deeper into The Current Topic™ I want to give you a heads up that it’s Tuesday so that means there’s a new YouTube video up.

    I call attention to one of the most common lead generation strategies I see, and then I explain why it does more harm than good to a business.

    Give it a watch here.

    BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM

    What do you think is an everything problem?

    Government? People? Money?

    What’s at the root of all your problems?

    Is it you?

    On any other day I’d probably agree with you (but, like, in a loving way).

    Today, however, you’re off the hook.

    Today we talk about copywriting!

    That’s an industry insider word for “writing things that gets people to do stuff.”

    I call ’em Power words!

    Abracadabra-I-create-as-I-speak words.

    Having trouble landing that job? Probably not saying the WRITE things.

    Can’t get a date? You’re probably not Cyrano de Bergerac.

    (I will confess to mangling the spelling for his name and Google was helpful as ever in its ever-so-helpful condescending “did you mean this?” way)

    Having trouble selling that kick ass e-book that you poured your life & soul into? You’re probably using the wrong words to talk about it on social media.

    Your stage show sucks? I bet words have something to do with it.

    Can’t get investors?

    You get the idea.

    Words are how we get the things we want.

    I mean, we can also use violence, but that’s bad m’kay? Don’t do it. Bad.

    So yeah, learn the power of persuasive writing and you unlock a whole universe of possibility.

    Think about it.

    Best thoughts,
    ~Jonathan

  • Alain Nu

    Alain Nu

    Alain Nu shares his secrets to mystery, creativity, performing, client management, and more.

    00:00 Alain Nu
    00:03 Introduction
    00:22 Welcome
    01:12 Conversation
    03:29 Power of Simplicity
    06:15 Difference Between Magic & Mentalism
    11:13 Relationship With Mystery
    17:39 Initiation Ritual
    28:29 Invitation To Connect
    30:43 Outro
    31:46 Bending Invitation

  • The Importance Of Improving Your Sales Skills

    The Importance Of Improving Your Sales Skills

    This is one of the most destructive beliefs I see on a regular basis:

    “My idea is so good it sells itself.”

    ~Every Misguided Entrepreneur

    For three years I was a mentor at the world’s number one tech incubator, 1871, which is located here in Chicago. Once a month I’d have office hours where entrepreneurs could schedule one on one strategy sessions.

    From that project alone I got to chat with hundreds of very sharp business owners.

    The one thing they all had in common?

    Horrible sales skills.

    Terrible.

    They’re brilliant people.

    Researchers, innovators, big thinkers. But they’re not sales people.

    Their work could change the world, and it was so painfully obvious to them how it would happen that they couldn’t understand that nobody else could see it.

    That’s when I’d hit them with this quote:

    “Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.”

    Howard Hathaway Aiken, Computer Pioneer, (March 8, 1900 – March 14, 1973)

    Their Biggest Problem

    Over and over again I would see the same issue.

    They were so impressed with what their product/service did that they wouldn’t tell me what it did for me.

    They would explain features instead of telling me the benefits.

    “It spins faster!” vs “Saves you time.”

    Exactly Backwards

    You should always start with what benefits the customer gets.

    Only then can you explain how it happens.

    What Happens If You Don’t

    Every company needs all the help it can get.

    I don’t care if you found the cure for cancer. You aren’t going to be successful unless you tell the world about it, and ask them to pay you for it.

    Your business makes the world a better place, and if you don’t learn how to explain that then you’re going to have fewer sales. That means a smaller budget. That means a smaller salary (if you’re lucky enough to have one at all).

    That means you suffer. That means your family suffers. That means all the people who could use your help suffer.

    Failing to work on your sales skills means you’re directly responsible for the world being worse off than it could be.

    Where To Start

    I’ve been in sales my whole life. My first professional engagement was at age 13 when I got paid $200 to entertain a company’s employees at a summer picnic.

    Since then I’ve been the top sales person at the highest grossing 3rd party vendor at an international tourist destination, sold 5 and 6 figure deals, and taught Fortune 500 teams how to improve their sales, negotiation, and presentation skills through my company, ZAVANT enterprises.

    I know not everyone has the luxury of having the company footing the training bill, so I’m currently working on an online training process to help individual entrepreneurs and side hustlers make more money with better sales skills.

    If you’re interested in learning more, go check out the project site, and sign up for email notifications as it gets closer to completion.

  • What Is A Mentalist?

    What Is A Mentalist?

    The short answer: A mentalist is a type of magician who has specialized in the art of mind reading tricks.

    The long answer: A mentalist is someone who is fascinated by the way that the human mind works. They are dedicated to understanding the far-reaching implications of unlocking the fundamental mental processes that guide our every decision for ourselves, our romantic partners, in sales, negotiation, presentations, and beyond.

    What Does A Mentalist Show Look Like? 👇

    A mentalist audience member amazed.

    It looks like this from my perspective.☝

    I could tell you what I’m thinking, but that would be extraordinarily unimpressive. It would only be amazing if I could tell YOU what YOU are thinking.

    That would be a damn fine trick!

    And so it is.

    A mentalism show is essentially the performance of uncanny mental powers like reading minds, predicting the future, defying the laws of physics, and leaving an audience questioning the limits of their imaginations.

    It is completely based on audience interaction and participation.

    Without minds to read, there’s not much of a mind reading show, is there?!

    This means that mentalism is much more about collaboration and the wonders of truly being in the moment together than any other type of entertainment.

    Where Else Is This Useful?

    Everywhere.

    Mentalism works because it leverages the fundamental processes that we humans use to interact with reality. When you understand that system to its core, you realize it has implications in any area that involves a human being.

    This is why my work has deep roots in mentalism, and eventually grew into sharing the knowledge and skills of communication, influence, and persuasion in sales, marketing, public speaking, MCing, attracting leads at trade shows, and beyond.

    It’s also the source of my books focused on mind power, motivation, mindset, self confidence etc etc.

    My Background

    At 5 years old I saw a magician on television, and it looked like the most fun anyone could ever have. That’s the moment I knew what I was doing with the rest of my life.

    Most of my time outside of school was spent in the county library reading every single book they had on magic. Each one was full of enchanting illustrations, secrets, and outdated patter.

    I loved it.

    I began practicing coin tricks, rope tricks, and tricks with things around the house. Quickly, however, I realized that the “mind reading” tricks seemed to get bigger reactions, so I was naturally drawn to those.

    At 13 years old I got paid $200 to entertain families at a company’s summer employee picnic, and I’ve been supremely unemployable since then.

    Applicability

    As I explained briefly already, I have worked hard over the years to extract the psychological secrets that I’ve learned on the stage that can help business owners be more successful.

    Conclusion

    That’s the quick version of what a mentalist is, and what you can learn from their secrets!

  • 4 Quadrants of Mind Control

    4 Quadrants of Mind Control

    “Ok Peter, if this is going to be a scientific demonstration, it needs to be a double blind test. That means I’m going to put you in an. . . isolation booth.”
    I walk over to my case and pull out a brown paper grocery bag.

    “Ladies and gentlemen,” I say as I open it, “Chicago’s finest isolation booth!”

    I slowly lower it over Peter’s head until he’s completely blindfolded.

    Why in the world would anyone I barely know let me put a paper bag over their head; let alone have fun doing it?

    I’m a master of influence.

    And this makes people uncomfortable.

    You can see it when I explain what I do for a living. “I’m a professional mentalist. I basically convince people I can read their minds using various techniques of influence.”

    Their eyebrows raise ever so slightly as they lean back. (They won’t admit it but they’re secretly worried I’m going to reveal all their deepest, darkest fears.)

    I don’t blame them. Who wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being in the same room with someone who could really do that?

    But, that fear stems from a common misconception that influence, persuasion, manipulation, & coercion are all the same thing.

    Unwitting Influence

    If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone and you were trying to get them to see your point of view, you were trying to be influential. If you’ve ever tried to convince your sweetie to go camping with you, you were trying to be influential. If you’ve ever explained how something could be a win-win situation, you were trying to be influential.

    Maybe you were successful, maybe you weren’t. The fact remains you were trying to influence another person.

    As is every single person alive, every day since the dawn of time.

    Some people come by this naturally. They seem to instinctively know what to say during a conversation to get the outcome they want.

    But most people don’t. They’re shooting in the dark.

    People who lack the natural grace of conversational influence seem to miss the subtle clues that provide valuable feedback you can use to shift tactics midstream.

    Even people who are good at conversational influence rely on one or two strategies that have worked over the years.

    I have a whole toolbox full of ’em.

    This is handy because influence isn’t limited to figuring out where we should eat lunch today. Influence plays out in courtrooms, boardrooms, bedrooms, and everywhere between.

    4 Quadrants

    Years ago I wanted to understand how influence, persuasion, manipulation, & coercion intermingle so I came up with a way to graph their placement.

    Imagine a 4 quadrant graph made from two lines that meet at right angles.

    One is vertical, and the other is horizontal.

    The vertical line has “Behavior” at the top, and “Belief” at the bottom. The horizontal line has “Self” on the left, and “Others” on the right.


    The X & Y axis represent two questions:

    1. What are you trying to change: behavior or beliefs?
    2. Who does it benefit: only yourself, or everyone involved?

    Influence affects behavior. Persuasion affects beliefs.

    If you’re trying to change someone’s choice, that’s influence. If you’re trying to change a belief that governs their choices, that’s persuasion.

    Positive Side

    As long as the intent of your influence or persuasion is to benefit everyone involved, then we can usually assume it’s a net positive effort when we do our moral calculus.

    Negative Side

    When most people are uncomfortable with influence or persuasion, it’s usually when done with the sole intention of benefitting the person doing the influencing.

    This is known as manipulation & coercion.

    Manipulation is the unethical attempt to change someone’s beliefs by way of lying, withholding the truth, or other subversive techniques. Coercion is attempting to produce a particular outcome by any means necessary.

    If the intent of your persuasion is to solely benefit yourself without concern for the impact it has on others affected, you’re being manipulative. If the intent of your influence is to benefit yourself with no concern for the negative impact it has on others, you’re being coercive.

    This “ends justify the means” approach is the path to utter destruction of your self, your relationships, and your ability to connect with other people.

    This is what we call “The Dark Side.”

    Filled Out

    Now, when you think about interactions you have with people, you can have a better idea of whether you’re trying to be influential, persuasive, manipulative, or coercive.

    The more detailed & nuanced your language is, the more adept you will be at its use.

    Influence is a Tool

    Just like with fire, handguns, a knife, or anything else it lacks inherent morality; whether it’s good or bad is based on how you use it.

    If you want to get better at achieving outcomes that not only help you, but also help everyone involved (the mythical land of Win-Win), then you absolutely must practice the skill of understanding what the other person wants. This is why thinking like a mind reader can help you in every area of your life.

    Only then can you use powerful language to communicate why your path will get them what they want.

    You will be like a mental Kung Fu master.

    They never fight strength head-on. Instead, they see where the energy is coming from, then move to blend with it. This allows them to take control without the other person feeling a thing.

    It is the masterful blending and redirecting of a conversation you must master if you want to use your powers of influence for good, and not evil.

    The Right Way to Do Wrong

    A while back I wrote a short article on a book Houdini wrote in the 1906 titled “The Right Way to Do Wrong.”

    (audiobook & PDF available at my store)

    Within its pages Houdini explains how to con people out of money, how to pick locks, break into buildings, among other dastardly skills.

    Reporters challenged his books as being dangerous, ill advised, and in poor taste.

    “How dare you teach people how to lie, steal, and cheat!”

    His reason for writing it is as good now as it was back then.

    “The better educated you are about the skills & techniques used by those who would try to do you harm, the better equipped you are to defend yourself from them.”

    Bad people are already using manipulation and coercion to get their way, every day. Why should you, the good guy, intentionally cripple your ability to recognize & defend yourself from those people?

    Methods

    Coercion

    The technique that’s most effective in this quadrant is the use (or threat of using) force; whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, etc. it doesn’t matter.

    The most expedient way to get someone to do something that benefits you is to put a gun to their head and make them do it. My idea is any time violence is introduced to a human relationship, it is fundamentally immoral.

    Manipulation

    The best way to manipulate people is to deprive them of the facts & information they need to make a fully informed decision. The way to do that is to lie. Withhold information to maximize your ability to change someone’s beliefs to be more favorable to your position.

    Persuasion

    It takes a remarkable amount of effort to understand someone’s position, and see how what you’re proposing could benefit them. That’s why so few people are good at being persuasive! If you want to help change someone’s beliefs, you have to demonstrate how everyone’s lives will be better with that new set of ideas about how the world works.

    Influence

    Really, the only way to influence someone is to withhold nothing, use no violence, and propose nothing that will violate that person’s beliefs. Only then will you be able to influence someone towards doing something you want to do. This is a much higher standard than either manipulation or coercion, but it’s the only way I think you could sleep well at night.

    What Say You?

    Do you think you’re free from influence? Do you prefer the term “psychological direction?”

    And if I might influence you to share this post with your friends? It will help me by getting more eyeballs on my writing. It will help you because your friend will appreciate you thinking of them. And it will help you friend equip themselves against those who would do them harm.

    It’s win-win-win!

  • Persuasion Is Dangerous

    “…Persuasion is dangerous, particularly in an advertising and capitalistic world. You are persuading people to do things that may not be in their interest. In the last 10 years or so, I’ve become conscious of the difference between informing and persuading. It’s a moral question for anyone involved in communication.” -Milton Glaser